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Self​-​Control

by TGIRLROADTRIP

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Renee Blaesing
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about

Self-Control is a song about trying not to kill yourself, and the ways some people treat you when you're in that place. It was the third song I'd ever written, not long after I picked up the uke in 2020. Like my life at the time, it was whiny, monotonous, isolated, and self-deprecating.
Three years later, I'm playing the song with three of my best friends. As the song's filled out with instrumentation, it's become a bit less monotonous, a bit more exciting and worthwhile. It's still just as whiny.
I hate this song a lot–probably because I'm still just as self-deprecating–but I also love it. The feelings I was writing about then are still here today, but they're different now. It's heartening to see, as much as I still feel this way, that things have changed, too.

lyrics

I went downstairs and I sat on the kitchen floor yesterday
Been feeling so small and I’m tryna get myself to do something about it
But I can’t feel my limbs and I can’t tell myself I don’t deserve it
Cause when I’m feeling this way it’s like I can’t help but embrace the pain
And why not?
Least it’s something to hold

You said hello, asked how was I doing that day
Well, lately I'm feeling at best half a person I blurted
Guess I can’t bring myself to try and hide the things I’m feeling no more
Still, seems you never cared much about what I’m going through, did you?
Hell no
And darling it shows

Well here I am again, crying for help
No one wants to hear about trying not kill yourself

My therapist tells me that I’m doing all the right things
But I still think the world would be a bit better off without me
Cause when I look in the mirror I don't like the girl that I see
Yeah she’s such a bitch and to be honest I don’t see the point
In all this
Self-control

Well here I am again, crying for help
No one wants to hear about trying not to kill yourself
No one wants to hear about trying not to kill yourself
No one wants to hear about trying not to kill yourself
But I’m doing this for you so the least you could do it fucking listen
I’m doing this for you so the least you could do it fucking listen
I’m doing this for you so the least you could do it fucking listen

credits

released March 31, 2023
Lyricist: Sylvia Brick
Producer: Renee Blaesing
Lead vocals: Sylvia Brick
Backing vocals: Ezra Brown, Renee Blaesing, Violet Shaw
Guitar: Renee Blaesing
Bass: Violet Shaw

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about

TGIRLROADTRIP image

TGIRLROADTRIP Rockford, Illinois

A group of old friends making music together.

Sylvia. she/her. "Dark! Narrow! Scary! Girl of Three Features."

Violet. she/her. Chinchilla mom and bassist.

Ezra. he/him. Mom Jeans with dad genes.

Renee. she/they/ze/hir. Margaritaville without the ville or the margarita. ... more

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